Comments on: GOODBYE CRESTFALLEN (PAGE 013)

By: Relenz

Relenz — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 07:55:26 +0000

Yes, exactly-the inclusion within the bubble may be a means of conveying that it’s an interruption of the thought, but that doesn’t come across easily. If sera’s interrupting her thought or sentence, I’d find it easier to read if there was some visual interruption in the bubble, or alternately, if dashes were used instead of ellipses: because ellipses are used so much earlier on in the panel to signify pauses or smaller interruptions, the mind’s eye skips over them and assumes the sentence just continues. The reader sees like…um…like… and is trained to think that ellipses don’t mean significant interruptions, just brief pauses, like commas. As a result, it read at first as:

It’s like, um, like, god my heart is racing it’s like my body is paralyzed etc.

…Chronic Ellipsis must be what the silent protagonist had in all those games I played as a kid…

Also, I have too many opinions. meep.

By: essrose

essrose — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 07:39:42 +0000

Relenz: You mean like the part where she says her heart is racing?

“Attack of the Chronic Ellipsis” would be a great title for book three…

By: Relenz

Relenz — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:50:36 +0000

The text is a bit weird…It’s strange to see someone digress and switch between emotional states in a single balloon, I’m more used to using the balloons to help separate thoughts- I actually had to read Sera’s explanation a few times before I could parse its meaning. Of course, that may also be because the characters seem to be having an attack of chronic ellipsis.

By: Andrew. R

Andrew. R — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 04:03:25 +0000

Sera looks so pretty! Good job on the detail on the chair as well. *thumbs up*

By: Kuro

Kuro — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 23:52:05 +0000

Awesome work as ever. Sera’s back and cute as ever. The blue really is nice. I can’t wait to consoom it all in book form.

By: essrose

essrose — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:27:08 +0000

LD: I try to preserve as much of the paper scuzz as possible when I’m scanning. I also made a few “dirt layers” I can flop on top of everything if I want to. I like grime.

Jon: Yep! http://slg-news.livejournal.com/250687.html

By: jon

jon — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:14:03 +0000

will this ever be published? like as a book?

By: LogicalDash

LogicalDash — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:27:46 +0000

The graininess in the margins gives this page a nice 4am feel. Did you put that there, or did the paper come like that, or what?

By: Ginger

Ginger — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 15:52:04 +0000

I have always loved Serenity Rose, and I love the new design work on all the characters. I can’t wait for the next page.

By: John

John — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 13:45:38 +0000

I can’t wait to see how “Goodbye Crestfallen” is gonna turn out.

By the way, love the art on this and the earlier issues (especially where Sera attacks those guys with ectoplasm. Sweet!)

Keep it comin’ Aaron!