Jokes/pranks

[Spectre]

Ok so this one time me and some college buddies went out to eat with a really cool former professor, who we used to play frisbee with, and anyway we were at this Indian restaurant when my best friend got up to go to the bathroom. Just then I got this crazy idea... so I gestured for everybody to lean in close and then I told them that when the other guy got back, we'd all call him by a completely different name! I believe the name we used was Dave, but its moot, you can use any name as long as its believable. Anyway, the guy came back and I said to him "Hey, what took you so long, Dave?" He raised his eyebrow at me, then sat down a little pensively, not sure what had just happened. But it kept going... we kept calling him Dave, and when he objected, I just looked really puzzled and said "Dude, what are you, drunk?" (actually he was, that's why this worked so well, heehee) "You're name's Dave, and it always has been. Did you hit your head back there or something?" We kept this up until we could see, on his face, that he was actually starting to consider the possibility that we were right, then we gave up the joke. But oh man, who knows how far we could have taken it?
Note: it helps if the target is drunk/high for this
Note: it is very bad form to attempt to carry this joke any further than the self-doubt stage, and plus it can get messy if the person freaks out, so don't do it.

[williamthebloody]

man, that is the funniest thing i ever read!

remind me of this time i had convince a friend that he had an armadillo impression. i had brought a friend over with us he wasnt too familiar with and i said. "dude you gotta do your armadillo impression! its so funny!" he has no idea what i'm on about so i say "YOU know, your armadillo impression! you roll around on the floor and everything! its great you gotta show it to (the other friend i bought over)!" this went on for about twenty minutes and i could tell he was starting to think he actually DID have an armadillo impression and just couldnt remember it and i finally admitted i was just messing with him. why armadillo? i'm not sure. i just sort of pulled it outta my ass.

[Mr Blue Sky]

A pretty loser-y friend or mine smoked a beedee with me and two friends on a hill, he was so convinced he had smoked pot he acted really stoned for over an hour. We didn't have he heart to tell him, and it was just too damn funny.

Also, if stuck in an elevator with an uptight asshole, just give him queer smiles, he'll totally freak out. When you get out say something like "Don't worry, you're way too ugly for me".

[ryhmy]

I¥m not sure i this is actually a prank, since the victim insisted that we did it and eaven threatened to beat us up if we didn¥t. He was extremely drunk though, so I think hes not going to be hapy tomorrow...

Well, the long story short: we are having a McGyver marathon at my friends place and the host of the party just had his balls shaved. We also shaved some rather obsene pictures in his (very dark and fuzzy) bodyhair. He asked us to do it, so we had no choice. IÂ¥m actually typing this message on his computer and heis right behind me with a giant skull shaved on his stomach...
The funny part is, that he has to go to work on monday with all these pictures shaved on his arms and legs:D

[Scissorhands]

I stuck a picture of Jimmy Page in a (visiting) cat's collar

[Spectre]

Use a money order to purchase some "Cops Are Pigs" or "Pay Cuts For Cops" or "Bad Cop! No Doughnut!" bumper stickers and send them to an abandoned house, then find out when the mail comes and surreptitiously pick up the package (ride there on your bike or pretend to be jogging or something), then go around and stick em on cars that have republican or holier-than-thou bumper stickers on them. They won't find them for weeks and will probably get pulled over just because of the sticker! hah!

[Doom_Pie]

I didn't want to read them all so forgive me if it's in here, but one of my absolute favorites is while someone is sleeping you get a flashlight turn it on piont it in their face and scream TRAIN!
at the top of your lungs

[T.F.O.]

when someone stops at a red light just casually walk up to their car and get in, then make some small talk(it has to bo normal small talk,NOT weird small talk) then get out and calmy walk away before the light turns green

[Scissorhands]

I didn't want to read them all so forgive me if it's in here, but one of my absolute favorites is while someone is sleeping you get a flashlight turn it on piont it in their face and scream TRAIN!
at the top of your lungs

Oooh, carefull, someone might panic and KILL you

[Doom_Pie]

hahah my friends are all pranksters, I only do it to them...they get a kick out of it after their sheets are dry.

[Scissorhands]

hahah my friends are all pranksters, I only do it to them...they get a kick out of it after their sheets are dry.

Sounds like you have a lot of fun

[Doom_Pie]

yes indeedy

[Lady Bathory]

I like to say I'm 'effeciently' lazy. This is where I'm too lazy to do all my work at the end of the day ... so I do it all as soon as possible. This used to freak my boss out and occasionally I still manage to unsettle her.

I'll have items I need from behind her and be on the other side of the room b4 she realizes I moved, she'll ask me to do 3 things only to find out I did them and more mere minutes before she asked me, and she'll need something and I'll just tell her to turn around (where it's waiting for her). I swear she thought I was a ghost when she first hired me. Swear to God! lol My favorite part tho is when she 'catches' me at it. She'll turn around or back up unexpectedly, bump into me, and jump/scream.

I once went to her house (she called me over I think) and nobody was answering her house phone, cell phone, doorbell, I was calling her name, and her door was unlocked and ajar. I went in hugging the walls, she comes out, and she started screaming like I've never heard before. She was fine after I told her I did it for her own good.

I'm told I look innocent ... feh. I love it when strange people try to buddy up to me or jackasses assume I'm a sweet innocent little girl. ~giggles~ When this happens, I smile sweetly and act like I'm enjoying listening to them. When they ask me a question or for my input I smile more and discuss painful torchor that I've always thought sounded really nifty. The problem with this is the folks I don't scare off never leave me alone. On the bright side, they give me more tips! HA!

[williamthebloody]

so a few years back i got this big photo frame that is made to house like 20 photos in it with a matte and all, right? well i went through all my old pics and put in something of just about every relative and friend i knew, group shots mainly. except for in two slots. these slots already had in them photos that came with the frame. i decided to leave them in. one image is of this little chinese boy (i'm not chinese, no one i know is chinese) and the other was of two women walking on the beach (one of them is chinese also). so, naturally, when i had friends over theyd wander to the frame and look at the pics and reminice about the occassion captured in the photos... "you rememeber that halloween?" "hey look at uncle joe... he looks so young.." YOU know. so inevitibly, they would spot the photos of the chinese people and ask... "who's that kid?" and well i had made up this whole backstory for him. "dont you remember little jimmy? YOU know, carla's kid...?" and i'd point to the chinese woman in the other photo. "yeah carla? she and becky (the other woman in that same photo) were best friends a year behind us at school? god that time she got drunk at (insert actual name of actual person we knew here)'s party and danced on the table?! i thought we'd never get her down... and how after graduation she hooked up with (insert name of actual guy we went to high school with here) and he knocked her up, but they didnt get married and had jimmy?" well at this point i can tell theyre thinking REALLY hard to try and remember carla and becky who never existed but who evidently went to the same parties as us. after i let them sweat for five minutes i confess that they came with the frame. they laugh and want to help me out with the joke the next time i have someone over.

gahd i'm weird...

[Spectre]

This is one of the older ones, but it works great nonetheless:
Order some itching powder, then pour it into their sock, then pour it back out (some will remain behind), repeat with all their socks then fold them or bunch them like they were before
Or, if you really hate them, powder their underwear. They'll think they've got crabs and freak out!