Bitch your broblems away

[Kirse]

lol thanks. I hope i find him/her too. The main issue is that I still have feelings for him and he not as much for me I guess. Seriously you should make up your mind of who you want positively bfor spliting

[Bulghod]

but you can never make up your mind that easily. it's not like shoosing between salad and soup.

[Kirse]

Yea, come to think of it I guess not. I don't like to think that it was something I did or something I didn't do. I gotta talk to him tommorrow

[Moonrise]

Augh! That's BAD man!!! Daymn, that is so damn BAD!!! I know what you're goin' through... gee that's so damn TUFF!!!! I agree with Bulghod, Seth don't see what we can see... You! The real special you! and if he don't see that, then do what Bulghod suggested

fuck him for not seeing how wonderful a person you are

hope you feel better now mate ~hugs Kirse~

[serinoke]

hummm....i'll give this here a try.......*ahem*

Life it seems has thrown me for a loop or two and left me in the dust. Everyone i know has accomplished or will accomplish things that will set them on their way to a better life than mine. So do i have to show? Nothing thats what! I was such a good kid, I was going to go places but then it got bumpier and bumpier things never seemed to lighten up for me. If it's not one thing its another. Nowadays I'm at the end of my rope barely holding on to what little I have left and now it will get worse. I have come to accept the fact that I won't be passing my senior year in high school. Its mostly my fault but then its them and the school district for losing my credits. I have been knocked down so many times it begin to wonder if I should even get back up. I ask myself why can't i get a good break in my life. Why do i get all the crap in the world dropped on me? Why do i have to suffer more than i should have to? I used to be the motivated one, i worked hard and busted my arse and for what?! So people can say "good job" and give me the little piece of paper that says that i made it? I say what is the point....i'm fighting a losing battle over here and i have no back up...I'm losing my will to go on and i'm at concidering just dropping out and scraping up the pieces of my shattered remains and leaving...i can't stand here anymore. I sick of trying to play catch up with everyone around me and lieing to them about how well things are going when it isn't well at all. I tried telling them in fact i have but they don't get how i work inside and how i lost myself years ago. i put a good front, but if you were to really see me and watch me you could tell that there is something missing. I have grown empty over these hard years, and have hardly anything left for myself.

"Lost and Forgotten" is a phrase i use for myself because i am just that. I'm lost and i have forgotten myself....well there you have it, a glimpse of what makes me tick can't say i feel much better than before though...just a bit exposed now

[Kirse]

To me it sounds like your a teen Serinoke(I am)......are you?. Any way I have just been dumped the other day but I'm not giving anything up over something like that. I am driving most of my credits to hell too but it is slowly getting better only because I am busting my ass more. When I fail at anything I think of what my future will be like if I just come to a stop. I want to live on a beach (Myrtle) for example but I'm not going to go anywhere if I don't work for it. my favortie memory of a visit to Myrtle beach was me standing on the balcony of a condo staring into the ocean at night when it was cold with a perfect breeze and the moon looked so close to me and bright. Even though you may not care about what I have shared with you, just keep in mind every now and then where you want to go or what you want to do.

[Bulghod]

The important thing here i think, is to not view it all as one bigass pile. it's just a bunch of different things, that can be dealt with one at a time. or at least just try to find something to anchor you to reality and logic.

[Moonrise]

Yeh... being a teen is damn hard especially when someone in your life is pulling, weighing you down telling you how good <this person> is and that they have a future and they are already succesful, why is it when I try so hard and get the marks I aimed for, get thrown back in my face? She always has a negative to all the positive aspects I have, those positives then turn into negative. In the mathematical method negative+negative=negative... you can't change it. There is always someone to encourage you... and there is always someone who drops the bomb, I always get the bomb and I get destructed, no one can re-construct me, not even encouragement... this is my view on my life, but there is more. Sometimes I've wished I was dead and sometimes I just wanna be isolated, though I'm always with my friends and sorting out their problems, they are happy in the end, but that can never be for me. I might seem happy all the time, but what I feel is something heavy and it will never disappear. What I carry is a heavy souless burden.

[skelebunnykashe]

in highschool (and pretty much in life), everyone around you keeps telling you it'll all end up alright, and that leaves you, basically hoping what they say turns out to be true.
concentrate on what you're dealing with at the present time and dont anticipate too much who or what you're going to have to deal with later on.
if everything i just wrote was bs, just consider highschool a time where you find out how you deal with difficult situations, make note of it, learn from it, and get ready for next time?

ps: relationships with significant others ~ take a chance. the worst that'll happen is you feel crummy for a week or two, or you make a fool out of yourself, which you'll get over (it's not fatal). you dont want to end up looking back and dwelling on past situations you could have taken advantage of and will never know what could have been.

[serinoke]

very interesting thoughts there.....i don't quite see it as "one big pile" its a combination of the various things that persist to pull and tear at me.....yes i am teen.....*urg* the "Teen angst" it covers me....anywho the best thing in have is my talents and i cling to those like static...and there's my slight feeling of usefulness that i get when i help those who aren't me but might feel the same.....most of the time......other times i just don't have any thing to say and need to thing about it......some told me today that i should be a guidance counciler or physiatrist...HA ha funny.... but as long as i exsist, i will have this kind of luck and the best i can do for myself is make it work....sure there will be bad and worse times but they might somehow work out....maybe?....hmmm....i think i just made myself better.....Hot Damn I'm Good!!....hmmm like S.Rose said " The world is not a bad place".....sweet... i guesss that means i don't suck at life....

[Moonrise]

ok, enough 'bout bitching... I actually feel better today... ^^
Talked to Ser online, and my brain keeps freakin' reflecting about an embarrassing moment that happened today... bla!
Its so damn embarrassing
None of you would know how it feels, I don't think we can face them ever again...


(Pretend like nothing happened Mali, just pretend!)

[skelebunnykashe]

gwaaa i want tickets to see nine inch nails
i have the money
and i have the time
but tickets are supposedly gonna sell out in three minutes!
eee not fair
curse ny
curse it, i say

[Bulghod]

well you can always just go and see msi if all else fails...

[Moonrise]

OMG That reminds me of how I wanted to go to the Green Day concert... but they were all friggin' sold out!

[ryhmy]

A word of advice: Go and buy the tickets on the very moment they're up for sale! If it's a very popular gig (such as Black Sabbath reunion concert or something else as legendary) you might wanna camp out in front of the place. You just have to go and buy them. It won't do any good to sit home and think about getting them.

When Iron Maiden (my favourite band since I was 6 yrs old) came to Finland 30.06.2003 I went to the local distributor before they even started selling the tickets. The best part is I told my techer I was going to buy tickets to an Iron Maiden conser and she could either let me do it, or punish me for skipping a lesson. She actually let me do it If I had stayed in school I wouldn't have had a chance: every single ticket was sold out in three (!) hours.

I got the ticket for 52 euros, went to see the gig and watched my favourite song 2 minutes to midnight from the second row, center, in this huge friggin' indoors arena. One of the greatest moments of my life. It's impossible to describe how much that gig meant to me. Iron Maiden has been, is and will always be the band for me