Hehehe everyone should get a kik outta this'n

anything goes on affliction street. scream your damn fool head off about anything that won't fit in the other forums. got a crackpot theory on freemasons? a burning hatred for cracker barrel employees? a finicky house cat? tell us all about it here.

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Hehehe everyone should get a kik outta this'n

Postby Doom_Pie » Thu Jul 21, 2005 8:29 pm

Ever seen this before? Well It's actually real....my hi score is 23 :D YAAAY!...i think...

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may
have
gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that
young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture
leads
young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness,
and
violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling,
prayer,
and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if
five
or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic
worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the
Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible,
prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This
is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God
and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local
mental
health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may
speak
to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within
it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your
local
mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church
If I only could I'd set the world on fire.
http://www.omega21.yourowndisaster.com/phpbb1/
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Postby subobeyliminal » Thu Jul 21, 2005 8:41 pm

The bit about the cereal is was really gets me. XD
- Your Humble Narrator

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http://www.nymphesque.deviantart.com - my DA!
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Postby Doom_Pie » Thu Jul 21, 2005 8:46 pm

mhm, the things that get me are that last one "claims to be a goth" it's too obvious, and also that half the things on that list are very important to the teenager lifestyle, and other such contradictory stuff, like sleeps to much, and demands privacy and time on the computer. The one that is the most contradicting to me is the " Expresses an interest in sex." when the religion curriculum clearly states that humans are sexual beings, it's the way God made us....sigh.
If I only could I'd set the world on fire.
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Postby subobeyliminal » Thu Jul 21, 2005 8:49 pm

But masturbation is eeeeevil! :eek: Repent! Repent! Take your removable showerheads down, and go strait to confession!
- Your Humble Narrator

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http://www.nymphesque.deviantart.com - my DA!
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Postby Doom_Pie » Thu Jul 21, 2005 8:51 pm

hahahhaha that's hi-larious! I have a removale shower head....
If I only could I'd set the world on fire.
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Postby Spectre » Thu Jul 21, 2005 9:14 pm

:shock: :) :tooth:
:roll: x20
I scored a 31, and am genuinely proud of it; though that number might be a little off because I had to start over every time I lost count from laughing

hehehe

"watches cable TV or any other corrupted media source"
there you have it, proof that it is Christians, not Jews, who control Network television
"-Demands an unusual amount of privacy"
how much is unusual to these freaks, I wonder?
"Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)"
The hell?
"Expresses an interest in sex."
Since when is this a goth thing?
"Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth"."
pfffthaaahahahahhahahahahahaaahahaaaa!
That last one just slays me, these people really have no idea what they're afraid of. The back of my T-shirt says "Fuck Art, Let's Kill" (front says CHEMLAB; that's what I got the shirt for, the front)

Oh god, I'm still laughing now!
:D
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Image
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Postby T.F.O. » Thu Jul 21, 2005 9:41 pm

sek fakrukal hestelere!!!!!!
Tappin my feet to the beat of original sin.
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Postby kahnate » Fri Jul 22, 2005 6:14 am

But.... Ktulu said that lechery was a wholesome act pleasing to God.

Ktulu wouldn't lie.


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Postby Scissorhands » Fri Jul 22, 2005 10:32 am

Hmm, let's see I -
frequently wear black clothing
wear band t-shirts
wear nail varnish (why do people call it polish? It's not any sort of cleaning product)
Lots of silver jewelry (including dragons & an ankh)
I have intrests in piercings & tattoos
I bet they'd call punk an "antisocial genre of music"
I associate with "eccentric" people

This could go on all night.
BUT I AM NOT A GOTH.
Beware the red-eye cat
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Postby Doom_Pie » Fri Jul 22, 2005 12:52 pm

sigh...the church's views are soooo debateable, I've spent hours debating arguing and punching the head of my friend who belives most of the things on this list. I've almost given up caring...
If I only could I'd set the world on fire.
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Postby Scissorhands » Fri Jul 22, 2005 12:57 pm

Damn those "nutty right-wing Christian fundamentalists" :evil:

That's what my father calls them.
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Postby Doom_Pie » Fri Jul 22, 2005 1:03 pm

ahahahaha cristains used to be thought of as cannibals...
If I only could I'd set the world on fire.
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Postby Rynan » Fri Jul 22, 2005 1:40 pm

Oh, this is a hoot. I wish to congratulate St. Mary's Catholic Church, they have successfully made themselves look like fools by nailing down a majority of teens as Satan's henchmen. Ha ha! I heard the pays good. Heh heh!

Oh, oh, I think I burst something, ha ha!
"I wanna see the devil that's hiding in you!"- Shinjirou Hayashida; Cromarte High School
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Postby Lady Bathory » Fri Jul 22, 2005 5:10 pm

I scored a 24 and if only I were gay/bi (like many people where I live think) I'd have gotten a nice 25. I'm not a goth.

Now here's the funny/sad part (meaning you'll either be laughing your ass off or crying for me, having nightmares, etc.) ... The clientel I deal with are all uber, fanatic christians. I'm talking voted for Bush (and said if I didn't God would punish me), think Jews are Satanic, ask each other what they should think about stuff like creamation (bc they are afraid that if they think for themselves they will be going against the bible), say all gay people should be shot, against gay marriges, won't go to a movie if they have heard that one of the actors/actresses aren't christian, etc etc. ... ...

They all think I'm an angel and (bc, people aside, I rather like my job) I'm basically getting paid to keep my mouth shut. .... ... I'm going to shut up now as I can go on for quite awhile on this.

PS: If you're Christian and can think reasonably well for yourself, I'm not talking about you. :D
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Postby Doom_Pie » Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:43 pm

hahahahah! I do not consider myself a Goth, but I am often classified as a Goth because I wear black and assosiate with a few pseudo-Goths...My friend said that at first glance he'd think I was a punk goth...I don't understand him at all...
oh, where do you work?
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