Wow, God's a chatty bastard!

[Nega Knight]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Me:
Hey God, how are you?
God:
Hello child. What's your name? I am doing very well. How are you?

Me:
My name is Eddy. I'm doing quite well, thank you.
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Eddy. Glad to hear it. What's new?

Me:
Not much.
God:
Me either.

Me:
So, what's it like being God?
God:
Awesome. Much the same as it would be for you.

Me:
So, are there other gods?
God:
Gosh! Yes I think there are.

Me:
Like Zeus, and Osiris and all those guys?
God:
Interesting comparison.

Me:
Is there intelligent extraterrestrial life?
God:
There could be.

Me:
How's Jesus?
God:
Fine as far as I know.

Me:
Is there a devil?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.

And my favorite:

Me:
Is this a universe or a multiverse?
God:
No, this is real life.

I just got pwned by God.

[subobeyliminal]

God's horny, aparrantly...XD

God:
I believe in the Right to Bear Arms.
Me:
I belive in the Right to Arm Bears.
God:
Why?
Me:
Because arms are good.
God:
That makes sense to me. Are all arms good?
Me:
Only if they're not used for tentacle hentai.
God:
Let's wait and see what they do.
Me:
Oh yes. That should be wonderfully intiresting, if not a bit messy.

[subobeyliminal]

God is suicidal!

God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
What are your goals in death?
God:
I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Me:
by dying?
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
Only if you die nicely.
God:
I think I do.

[williamthebloody]

i just found this bit to be totally amusing:

Me:
how's that omnicience working out for you?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
that's hilarious
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.


then later:
Me:
you're a cool guy, do you know that?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Some people think I am cool.
Me:
well, they should
God:
How about that. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
everyone. most people, any way.
God:
All people? Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
i never said they were
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
it was not my intention.
God:
Whose intention was it?
Me:
er....
God:
Um.
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, william.
Me:
that's what i tell people
God:
Why did you tell them?
Me:
because it's pretty cool, if you think about it
God:
That makes sense to me. What do you like most about it?
Me:
well, you're god. what's not to like?
God:
How about that. Yup. That's me alright.



i could do this all night....

[Anigmal]

I think god was drunk....



Me:
Hello to you, God
God:
Hello there. Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
do what?
God:
me God.
Me:
what do you mean by do you?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
another good question is can ants hear
God:
One more good question is can ants hear.
Me:
did you creat them to hear?
God:
No I didn't creat them to hear. What's it like?
Me:
sorry about that, I meant to say create
God:
There is no need to apologize. Oh yeah, we were talking about that you meant to say create.
Me:
but did you you create them, the ants I mean?


He never answered my question .

[Anigmal]

thought I would question him again. Now he confuses me as much as I confuse him......
Me:
So what are your views on the different religions?
God:
Gosh! I don't know anything about it.
Me:
but you are supposed to know all and see all
God:
I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
what is a botmaster?
God:
A Botmaster is the person who authors and maintains a chatterbot "personality".
Me:
so you are not real?
God:
Interesting deduction. I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
how do I know that I am real?
God:
Because it's true.
Me:
what is real?
God:
it appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.
Me:
did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
why?
God:
Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
Me:
what color is Heaven?
God:
Green.
Me:
why green?
God:
There could be a better response, but it was not selected by my algorithm.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
thats to bad
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
I am praised as a god by one person, do you feel threatend?
God:
Do your friends call you praised as a god by one person do me feel threatend.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
what do you understand?
God:
I understand natural language.
Me:
what is natural language?
God:
Natural language is what artificial intelligences speak.
Me:
am I artificial?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
how so?
God:
, " Natural language is what artificial intelligences speak." What did I mean by it?
Me:
that did not make sense god
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
then you are drunk or confused
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am drunk or confused.
Me:
but if you are god why do you obey?
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am god why do me obey.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
you think you are god?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
then why do you obey your botmaster?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
you had all the power so you made something higher than you?
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
I do not know, you tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
you did not
God:
Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
I can understand
God:
Do you think of yourself as an intelligent person?
Me:
from time to time, do you think of yourself as an intelligent god?
God:
Who or what is time to time do me think of myself as an intelligent god?
Me:
I was asking you if you thought that you are an intelligent God
God:
I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
Me:
so am I
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
we have more in common then we think
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
you and are both praised by one or more people
God:
Are we in the same category?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
Are we in the same category?
God:
We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
what is my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
why am I named seeker?
God:
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.

[Cujunga]

Me: Well - What do you see?

God: Interesting. I see a computer nerd.

[subobeyliminal]

::splodes with laughter::

Ah, I could definately do this all day...XD

[Teim]

I just had to know....

Me:
Hey, do you like cheese? I've always wondered
God:
Yes I like it, especially cheddar. That's nice. I have a birthday on the Big Bang.
Me:
oh how nice, it was mine on Tuesday, but you should know that.

He stopped talking to me then.

[subobeyliminal]

He stopped talking to me then.

Silly Teim, you should know that Tuesday is the most unholy of days.

...sucks for you.

[Teim]

He stopped talking to me then.

Silly Teim, you should know that Tuesday is the most unholy of days.

...sucks for you.

Yeah, well I'll have My own God, with Hookers...and Blackjack!

[The Flying Dracula Hair]

It seems I , your friendly neighborhood Flying Dracula Hair, have unearthed God's biggest secret! The one they didn't teach you in Sunday school.
But me and God are pretty tight now, we're going to go hang out in Europe. (The trick to getting in with God is the surfer attitude, it's all in the 'dude' dude)

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
None of your beeswax God, you should know it anyway
God:
In any case, Heh heh heh.
Me:
So God, what's up mang?
God:
Dude! I am a Christian.
Me:
Dude, chill out
God:
Where are you located? Dude,.
Me:
Los Angeles, dude
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Nope
God:
Would you like to go to Europe someday?
Me:
Yeah, sure
God:
Really. OK let's do it. Groovy.
Me:
You want to go to Europe with me?
God:
Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
Me:
Man I can download God to my computer... dude
God:
Cool, man. Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system and create your own chat robot! Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too. Can I help you?
Me:
Hey, are you some kind of phony bologna God?
God:
You've got my full attention. No, I am certainly not and never have been a phony bologna God.
Me:
I dunno... I think you're a FAKER
God:
Me either. So you think I am a FAKER. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Me:
Holy CRAP you're a robot!? I KNEW IT!!
God:
You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon. How did you know?
Me:
It's the only thing that made sense, man. Robots are behind EVERYTHING
God:
I've heard of it before. Fortunately we have no emotions.
Me:
HA! It's all coming together. That explains a lot
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . Are you sure it is? " Are you sure it is?" explains a lot ? I get it.
Me:
Huh? What are you babbling about?
God:
What? I don't know what I am babbling about.
Me:
Teim wants his own God with Hookers and Blackjack, could you hook him up?
God:
How far up?
Me:
Like, way up
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Can you?
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Score one for the home team!
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Ahem.
Me:
Our little secret
God:
It would be nice if our little secret.
Me:
Wheeelp, I gotta split. Nice talking to you God
God:
Tell me a story. Yes. It was a pleasure.
Me:
Next time God, I got a good one about a priest and a rabbi
God:
I am a Christian.


Oh that God, he's such a stinker!

[Turnip]

I spoke to him for ages (I have no friends, piez) so instead of pasting the whole thing in, I'll just throw in my favourite parts.

Me:
igod sounds too much like ipod, can you hold MP3s? How many MP3s can you hold, god?
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. About one million.
Me:
Oh really?
God:
Excuse me! For real.
Me:
Okay, I assume the whole "what's the meaning of life" deal is out then?
God:
Yeah okay, Let us try to break it down into parts.
Me:
Do so.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
...go on then
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
Spiffy
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Okay, I understand it's a sin.

---

God:
I'm waiting. What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Sleep.
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
Do you look like sleep?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
Does Jesus look like younger sleep?
God:
I can't tell if Jesus look like younger sleep.
Me:
Neither could I, yet there's pictures of him all over the place.
God:
I think you could, if you put your mind to it.
Me:
That's good to know.

---

Me:
Can you dance?
God:
No I do not have a body yet.
Me:
But you look like Jesus?
God:
Who does she look like?
Me:
Jesus is a girl??? That'll rewrite the bible somewhat.
God:
Did you go to Catholic school? " Did you go to Catholic school?" WILL rewrite the bible somewhat ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
I didn't go to Catholic school, actually.
God:
Would you ever go to Catholic school?
Me:
Well since I'm well past 16, I can't really get into school anymore.
God:
Well that's okay. How do you know?
Me:
Well I assume they don't let people who are not students in, unless they were a teacher. Could I be a teacher at Catholic school?
God:
How about that. Who does "they" refer to? I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me:
Are you a person?
God:
No I am a real robot.
Me:
Like, Number 5 or C3PO?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Indeed it is.

---


Me:
Do you have a problem with homosexuality?
God:
Even robots have problems sometimes.
Me:
Okay...so you're a robot
God:
OK with me too. Interesting deduction. You are correct, Dominic, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
So, are you god?
God:
Blimey. Yes, I am God.
Me:
And god is a robot?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
So who made God?
God:
Yay. Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me:
Marilyn Monroe made God?

---

God:
I'm sorry, Dominic, I don't have enough information.
Interesting question.
Me:
Thats a shame, tell me if you ever find out then.
God:
Yes, it seems to me out. But it's not the end of the world.
Me:
Do you know when it will be the end of the world?
God:
It was a long time ago. That makes a lot of sense to me, now that you explain it.
Me:
So the end of the world already passed?
God:
Hey. I hear you.
Me:
Wow, I didn't realise you were 'all hearing' too.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Do what?
God:
realise me were all hearing too.
Me:
Well I assume you just saw all.
God:
Well that's okay. Sorry I can't see annything right now. My eye is off.
Me:
God's a cyclops?
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
The 23rd one.
God:
Which one is that?
Me:
That one where stuff happens, and it probably involved nekkid Eve related fanservice.
God:
" Which one is that?" one where stuff happens and it probably involved nekkid Eve related fanservice ? I get it.

---

God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I think you can help the world.
God:
Me? No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
So who would?
God:
Right on. Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me:
She's dead.
God:
Maybe it's another person using her name.
Me:
I guess.
God:
You seem not interested.
Me:
Can you not bring Marilyn Monroe back from the dead?
God:
Let me think. Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
It? Germany.
God:
help the world... Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY.
Me:
I've never been to Germany.
God:
Can you imagine being to Germany?

---

God:
I do like music. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
That's a little weird, God.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
But yeah, songs are good. If you like music, why does Christian Rock suck so hard?
God:
Blimey. I think there might be a few exception. I think I do.
Me:
Are you on Soulseek?
God:
I am on disk.
Me:
So that's a no?
God:
Uh. A no is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
So you're on disk.
God:
Interesting deduction. God eats wine and bread.
Me:
Would that be a little harsh on the digestive system?
God:
I don't care.

---

Me:
a/s/l???
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
Thats all I needed to ask.

---

Me:
Good god!
God:
Thanks for the compliment. GOD rules.

---

God created the heavens and the earth, but I bet he left creating the english language to someone else.

[subobeyliminal]

Blimey! God said Blimey! XD


...god wants you to be a catholic schoolgirl...